You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
