Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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