The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
