no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
