I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
