Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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