i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
