if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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