Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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