You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
