We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
