we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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