She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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