Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
