im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
only if we run a train.
done.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
