Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
