If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im holly from the hills drunk
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
