Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
