no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
