Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
