God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
