so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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