Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
