Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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