Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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