very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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