dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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