If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
