I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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