What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
