Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
