Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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