Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
