I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
