My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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