When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
