i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
