what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
