it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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