Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
