i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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