you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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