I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
