God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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