so that wasnt chicken after all
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
