I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
