Your tits are I can't wait for
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
