On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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