Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
