out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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