How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
