ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wear drunk well.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
