Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
