i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
