Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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