Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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